Q&A: Should My Church Be Mandating A Dress Code?
Q: Dear Dannah, A friend of mine asked me what I think about a church that commands its members to dress in a particular way, like no pants for women, all women are to pull their hair up (so that it does not hang loose, which may look sexy to men) etc. She said other than that, the church teaches the word of God. Do you think a person is justified, refusing to attend this church just based on their dress restrictions? Would a person who refuses to go to such a church just based on the dress restriction, seem to value dressing more than the spiritual food that the church will offer?
A-Dannah: Now that's a tough one! I really wish that today's church would have MORE loving guidelines for women as far as dress...HOWEVER,it's vital that these standards not be based on legalism. I really find the issue of asking women to wear only dresses and wearing their hair up quite legalistic IF the church is presenting it as God's standard. (See Q&A "Should A Woman Wear Pants?") This is not God's standard it is the preference of their leaders just as wearing a one piece bathing suite might be a preference of a youth leader when he takes his teens to summer camp. If they present it as a preference, I really don't see a problem with it although in this case it is extreme. When I'm speaking at a church with such a preference, I honor it. An attender of that church must realize that she is placing herself under the authority of that body and must be obedient. In choosing to attend that church she is choosing to obey their standards of dress. (This should be done without complaining!)
If your friend chooses not to attend there based on this single issue, it is possible that she's more concerned about dress than spiritual meat. I Peter 3:3-4 says "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." The original Greek actually did not include the word "fine" before "clothes." And certainly the point is not that we should walk around naked. So, this verse is not saying that we cannot adorn ourselves beautifully. Rather, it is pointing to the fact that our emphasis should be on our internal beauty and not our external beauty. I like to put it this way each day, "Did I spend more time in God's word today adorning my heart than I did in front of the mirror in my bathroom?"
So, if your friend chooses to not attend this church only based on this issue, she needs some loving re-direction. But it is highly possible that this issue is merely one little red flag that points to legalism. In that case, I'd look for another church body!
